


Building Bridges Is Hard To Do (But Losing You is Harder)

by RizzBiz



Category: She-Ra - All Media Types, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power
Genre: F/F, Mutual Pinning, a hot cat in a horde filled base, adora tries to be an adult, bow and entrapta are cute, catra is herself, catradora, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-08-26 06:55:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16676749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RizzBiz/pseuds/RizzBiz
Summary: Adora plans on talking to Catra about what happened in the First One's temple, one way or another. Hopefully this time they can do so like mature people and with no one plunging to their assumed death. But nothing's off the table when it comes to the two of them.





	1. Chapter 1

Bow was right, this _was_ a dumb idea.

However dumb ideas with a low chance of success never stopped Adora when she was in the horde and they certainly aren’t going to break her of that habit anytime soon. She knew the chances of this working out her way were practically zilch with only slightly better odds of making back out. Still she had to try. She had set up a small camp by a lake surrounded by a copse of trees, close enough to travel to the Fright Zone but out of the way of patrols. The horde uniform she had snatched wasn't a perfect fit but given she had to do it during their last skirmish without anyone in the rebellion noticing, it wasn’t a bad find.

Adora let the familiar motions of donning the armor wash over her, trying to get back into the headspace of being a horde soldier and not be sick. She had cleaned it the best she could but Adora could still smell ash and burning ozone from its last battle, could feel where she had had to stitch it back together. She stared at the reflection of herself in the lake. Hair tied in a loose knot by the base of her skull wasn't as unfamiliar as the jet black hair she now possessed. A temporary magical dye she had gotten hold of from one of the princesses. Good enough to trick the mooks if she was caught without the helmet on but to anyone who knew her it was still obviously her. Which was good since she was about to storm the Fright Zone solo for one reason;

Catra.

A lot of things had been on her mind since their fallout in the First One's temple. So many heated words and emotions and betrayals. On both sides. They hadn't had an encounter since Catra had tried to overtake Bright Moon, the time between now and then filling Adora's head with what-ifs and regrets. Hindsight is at times the best teacher and the more time Adora reflected on it, the more and more she saw her own faults in causing this chasm between them. Not to say Catra was faultless, far from it, but her own actions had only pushed her further in the wrong direction. She needed to see Catra again, to explain her own feelings and own up. To be adults about it like their supposed to have been this whole time. And maybe she wanted to see her for other less noble reasons too.

Rumor had it through some clashes between the rebels and horde, that Catra had been made Hordak’s second in command. In a twisted way Adora was proud of her, that she was not only getting recognized but actually _ **trying**_ for once. trying to destroy her and the rebels sure, but it was more motivation than she normally showed. Adora shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts of Catra for now. There would be time for that later and she didn't need the distraction before she even reached her. Clasping the helmet into place she straightened up, placing her sword on her back in a sheath cleverly disguised as horde tech.

“So you really are going through with this huh?” 

Adora whipped around, horde staff in hand to find Bow perched in a nearby tree, kicking his feet idly. She wondered how long he had been there, knowing how deft he was at traveling wooded areas without a sound. As he hopped down she relaxed her stance, clicking the staff back into place.

“I hope you didn't come to stop me Bow,” Adora tried for a harsh tone but it only came out as a plea. This was something she had to do, friends opinions be damned.

“Hey i know i know… well i mean i don't know what happened in that temple but i _do_ know its been tearing you up ever since,” He tip toes over, light as a feather, and places a hand on her shoulder. 

“And even more so once the immediate threat to Bright Moon was pushed back….don't give me that look it's true you've been a sad grump” He gives her nose a playful flick before reaching into his quiver and handing her an arrow. Adora’s pout turns quizzical as she turns it over in her hand a few times, about to reply with something snarky, like you're the only bow i have, when he speaks up again.

“Click that button on the side there and toss it as high as you can if you get into a bad spot okay? I'm no one woman army like some people i know, but I can make a cool distraction,” He scrambles to the top of the nearest tree finding a comfy spot to sit before pulling out a device from his pocket “oh and i have all the princesses on speed dial with this so y'know, don't worry on the escape part alright? I got you!” Adora nods towards him and mirrors back his thumbs up. That was one less worry to think on.

Now she just had to work on getting to Catra, without being detected. She had been doing some recon beforehand to figure out what the latest codes and protocols were. She was not having a repeat of what happened last time she tried to sneak around in horde armor. Even if Perfuma and the others came in just in time to save them, Adora chided herself for not realising that they would change codes. Because of course they did. It was standard practice, dummy.

Passing through the last line of trees, she spotted the Fright Zone looming in the distance, dark clouds swirling above. If she focused hard enough Adora was sure she could taste the fear lurking there in every corner. Steeling herself, she set out at a quick pace, wanting to make sure she made it in time to slip by the next patrol. At least some things don't change.

Physically sneaking back into the Fright Zone was turning out to be easier than she thought, but all the memories flooding in, both good and bad, were taking a toll. Last time she didn't have time to dwell, her friends were in trouble and she was leading a group of others who didn't know the place like she did. She had to be fast to save them, faster than the past nipping at her heels the whole way. But now every street and construction she passed, every smell and sound brought back something to her. The time her and Catra snuck out after curfew to get snacks. The time her and Catra slipped their charge for the day to play hooky. The several occasions Catra almost made it into a tank for a joy ride.

Her heart ached. Catra, Catra, Catra. All the memories were of the two of them. Adora didn't have any worthwhile memories that didn't have her other half in them somewhere. She pushed forward even harder with those thoughts in mind. Catra. She was here to see Catra and talk, she needed to face the music once again, to shout above it this time and be heard. 

Her boots scraped against the ground, the ill fitted uniform working against her, as she worked her way closer and closer to the heart of the Fright Zone and to her goal. She would just have to make it work and be extra careful to be quite. She paused once reaching the main building, catching her breath and trying to formulate what to do next. She had planned this out to happen at night time, when it was mostly a skeleton crew working, but it was still hard work by herself. Every passage had someone and she had to improvise more than she was comfortable with. Her intel was good so far though, getting her by each time. 

The more she kept moving the more it dawned on Adora that she didn't know where exactly she was going. She had no clue where Catra had decided to set up, and if she messed up getting into the system she could set off a dozen different alarms making this all for naught. She had already risked it a few times opening locked doors. So she set out checking their old favorite spots. It was a long shot, if she was Catra she would avoid them at all costs at this point, but it was the only thing she had to go on.

After searching for what felt like forever, Adora was running out of hope and places to search. Ransacking her brain for another place, she left her body on autopilot, to wander these halls it knew too well. She came back to her senses with a jolt of panic as her feet led her past Shadow Weavers room. Or rather, her old room. Now where her caretakers name plaque had been was a new one reading:

‘Commander Catra’s room: disturb at own risk’ followed by a crude drawing of herself making a rude gesture to all passersby.

Adora rolled her eyes, a small smile gracing her lips as she approached the panel to open the door. Second only to Hordak and her old friend was still as flippant to people as ever. She’d laugh if it didn't hurt so much to think about….and if she wasn't in a spot where it was very important she not mess up and be found. She got the door unlocked with little problem, still being careful of the risks, and seamlessly slid inside. Adora pulled a small rectangular device from her pocket, placing it on the seam between the wall and door. It whirled and clicked, expanding and then locking down, forcefully holding the door closed.

This was it, show time.

Adora gently took off the helmet and placed it to the side. There was no point to it now, no more sneaking to be done, no more hiding. She doubted sneaking back out would even be an option. She kept quite as she could, softly pacing the room taking in all the changes. The Black Garnet was still there in the center, but with so much more tech around it than before. A lot more tech everywhere actually. She hadn't seen that much just laying around since she visited Dryl…..no, less dwelling on unfixable mistakes more finding Catra. Spotting a cot in the corner, Adora walked over to it, preparing in her head all the things she wants to say. As she closes in though it looks...funny. She pulls back the sheet to find a pillow and other junk giving it a faint person shaped outline. 

Adora stiffens and begins to back track, wondering when she could’ve possibly been compromised when suddenly a familiar clawed hand grasps her ponytail and yanks her. She hadn't even heard or saw Catra get behind her but here she was, pushed face first into a wall unable to look at the one person she most desperately wanted to see.

“Really Adora? Did you think a bad dye job and some horde clothes could fool me? Everything about your posture screams _**you**_ , let alone the fact that i could smell you a mile away,” she pushes her whole body flush with Adora’s getting as close as possible and tugging her head back the rest of the way so she can continue to whisper in her ear “ what could possibly make you think this was a good idea hmm?”

Adora swallowed harshly, letting the pain in her neck focus her mind from all the distractions going on. This had been what she wanted, but actually seeing Catra again, same attire, same voice, same attitude, was overwhelming without a greater mission on the line. She gritted her teeth and forced herself to focus. She didn't get this far just to run away again from her problems or blow it, she had to say what was weighing down her heart.

“Oh no it was definitely a dumb idea, luckily i’ve got some experience with those… but I'm here cause i wanted to talk” she said. 

Adora turned her head the best she could, trying to catch Catra’s eye. After a few heart pounding moments, Adora felt herself be flipped around, Catra’s forearm coming up to rest against her throat, a solid pressure but not enough to stop her from talking. Catras other hand slid over to pin her sword arm.She readjusted herself to still keep Adora pinned to the wall and growled.

“I told you I'm never joining your little rebellion, I've done fine climbing the ladder on the winning side here _without you_.” Adora felt claws prick into her with every word Catra spits at her and yet cannot help the fond smile crossing her face.

“I know….. I didn't come here to talk you out of anything Catra, you’re way too stubborn for that. I came to talk about what happened between us in that First One’s temple.”

“There's nothing to talk about. It showed me how shitty you were and frankly _are_ being. Made everything loud and clear, really, i should thank you for leading me to it. I probably wouldn't be here as Hordak’s second without the freedom i gained from dropping you like dead weight,” despite the arrogant and venomous tone, Adora could feel Catra shaking through her whole body. If it was anger or regret, or turmoil at the situation at hand…maybe even a combination of everything, Adora wasn't too sure. She just knew this was actually going better than she thought, no one had a broken nose. Yet.

“I always thought we did better together, but y'know maybe that's just me. I know i always did better with you by my side.” Adora lifted her free hand and placed it on Catra’s hip, watching the other woman's eyes fly wide open from the gesture, “but i can't help but be amazed at how well you've done. You were always stronger than me Catra, matching all my times without any of the special treatment and standing up to Shadow Weaver all the times you did even if you were always going to get punished. I never... never really appreciated that about you back then but hindsight’s twenty twenty right? And….I'm... I’m really proud of you despite the people your siding with.”

“You don't get to be proud of me!” the arm against her throat pushed in cutting her air off for a brief moment, “ _ **You**_ left _**me**_ remember!” tears pricked at Catra’s eyes as she tried to keep her shouting to a whisper. Adora reached up and wiped at her cheeks where a few had fallen, waiting to speak again after the outburst. This talk needed to be at least somewhat more controlled than last time. Cause the last time they had talked about these feelings it had been heated, neither of them listening just shouting their frustrations out expecting the other to cave. Not only was progress lost from that but shouting right now would be a horrible idea to say the least, so deep into enemy territory.

Adora tried to take a calming breath, but all she could smell was Catra. A lot of it was what she associated with the Fright Zone but underneath it there was something that was just Catra, heady and wild. It was distracting to say the least, the opposite of what she wanted to happen, so Adora tried to clear it from her head before speaking. Otherwise she may confess something neither of them were ready to face the consequence of yet, not with their relationship teetering so precariously right now.

“You're right, i did leave, i broke my promise but you think it's cause i wanted to play a hero Catra and its _not_. That’s why I’m here, I wanted- I needed you to know exactly why I chose the rebellion.”

“Then talk, not like there’s a good enough reason though” Catra muttered the last part, shoving off from Adora and folding her arms across her chest.

“When we were together i could be just as selfish as you Catra- don't roll your eyes you know I'm right,” she watched Catra shrug and glare before continuing. “Just you and me against everyone else. Survive this hell hole together y’know….but once i saw what the horde was doing…. It was taking loved ones from each other and for what reason? For power? To force others into situations like ours? Those are all just so wrong and messed up! and really, should've been a good enough reason to walk away for anyone but wasn't the reason i did. Do you want to know the real reason Catra?”

“I have a feeling you're gonna tell me against my wishes here.” her posture was guarded, but Catra's ears flickered curiously, waiting for Adora to continue.

“The real reason i left was cause i saw these people and thought….what it would feel like to lose you. Well i guess now i sorta have lost you?….am losing you?” she wraps her hands around her head in frustration. All her emotions and thoughts are getting jumbled and shes not finished yet. “ arrggghh whatever I mean, I'm just- I'm not sure what i mean, i just know that the thought was terrifying and heartbreaking, as I'm now well aware of.”

Adora was pacing slightly now, Catra’s eyes never leaving her, ears now slightly facing back, tail flicking back and forth in agitation and the rest of her tense ready to pounce. Still, she had not sounded any alarms yet so Adora pushed on.

“It's not fair, no one should have to go through that!”

“And yet that's exactly what you put us both through!”

“You think i don't know that too!” now she was shouting. This was definitely not a good idea nor a part of her vague plan. She had wanted to keep her cool but her emotions could only be controlled so much around Catra. The feline always made her blood run hot, knowing just how to get under her skin. She couldn't stop now though.

“The difference Catra is that we’re both still alive, and for a lot of those innocent people that's not the case. They don't get to have any second or third chances! It's just over, they've- they’ve lost the Catra to their Adora and i can't stand by to watch that keep happening, it's too heart wrenching!”

Catra shoves her, Adora’s back bouncing off the wall harshly, anger clear in ever motion, “ and what makes you think I’d ever forgive you huh?”

“Nothing!” adora threw her arms into the air, “ but i have to keep trying in the hope that maybe you will someday. The horde is still evil Catra, but i admit this rift between us is in large part do to maybe not what i did but _how_ I did it. I want my future actions to prove you can still trust me,” Adora inches forward and seeing she’s not gonna bolt, takes Catra’s hands into her own, rubbing her thumbs over the others palms. 

“Until that day though, I'm gonna keep fighting until this war is over and no one else has to have their lives destroyed and loved ones taken from them. Even..... Even if it means losing all chance to be with you, as long as you're out there somewhere alive and happy you can hate my guts all you want. Cause even now Catra, your well-being is what matters most to me.”

Adora feels Catra’s tail wind around her wrist as her speech starts to come to a close. She never broke eye contact with Catra and yet didn't realize she had gotten so close again.They were at arms length and now practically on top of each other like old times. She must have filtered it out, her body use to being so close to the other. Catra was pushed up against her but not pinning her to the wall this time. Catra moved her hands out of Adora’s own, claws now at her shoulders scratching the armor she still wore, the sound just adding the tension still hanging between them. Catra looked her up and down before returning her gaze and giving her a solemn smirk. Maybe Adora was getting through to her some.

“And what makes you think the rebels wouldn’t just hunt me down and kill me? What with all the horrible things i've done.”

“Ha they won't, if they know what's good for them. Otherwise they'll learn what makes your lil soldiers quake in their boots” Adora boasted.

“Oh? And just what is that hmm?” a playful glint entered Catra’s eye, her tail wrapping around Adora’s waist. She froze in place, thoughts consumed by Catra and what she was doing at this moment. It felt like her windpipe was being pushed on again but Catra was nowhere near her throat. All Adora wanted to do was lean down and-

She shook her head and tried to put on the same airs of confidence as her old friend, “maybe I'll tell you next time.” the playful look broke as quickly as it appeared on Catra, replaced with something not as guarded, something more vulnerable. If Adora didn't know better she'd say it was sincerity.

“There won't be a next time Adora, i mean- not here anyways. I- I need to think and you need to leave before-” A screen blinked to life with a loud buzz, making the pair jump away and out of each others space.

“HEEEEY CATRA! I know you said not to disturb you right now but i told Scorpia i found someone poking in the systems, quite clumsily i may add, so she was reviewing some footage and it looks like- oh hiiiii Adora! That explains the sloppy electronic trail ahahahahah!”

“Entrapta…. you’re - you’re alive?! How?” Adora could feel tears building up and her adrenaline kick in. Entrapta was alive! Aaaand working for the horde? It didn't matter, she was alive!

“What you thought a lil thing like a room full of purging fire would kill me? Quite logical really! And it's a great story how i got out SO-” Catra slapped a hand to her face and interrupted her.

“That's great Entrapta…. But we were in the middle of something here what did you need?”

“OH RIGHT, you told me to keep Hordak’s spies and tech out of your room, which i have! But that also meant i had to remove a lot of tech like the warning systems and place in dummy systems so he wouldn't think anything was going on and so now i have to manually wa-”

“The _**point**_ Entrapta?” Catra said through gritted teeth.

“Right right, Scorpia sounded the alarm, troops are on the move looking for the intruder everywhere, thought you may want to know! It was good seeing you again Adora ahahah bye now!” the screen clicked back off. Adora’s heart plunged into her stomach. She was making good headway with Catra, even though she told her to leave, she had just learned Entrapta was alive and now before she could act on any of it she has to fight her way out of here. Great. Super. A splendid way to cap off the mission really.

Catra and her stared at each other, having already subconsciously gotten close again with the tv shutting off. Seconds passed by, then a minute, the whole world feeling like it was holding its breath. Adora knew she needed to go, to flee but this is the most Catra and her have been together without ripping into each other since the temple. It was like a drug that she sorely missed, this closeness between them. Finally Catra spoke up.

“Well….fuck, alrighty time to go _princess_.” The way she spat out the word princess was almost on the edge of endearing as it was insulting. 

She grabbed Adora by the arm and dragged her to a section of wall that has been, on closer inspection, sealed with mismatched scrap covering a tunnel. Catra yanked it open presenting it to Adora with a flourish.

“I had Entrapta dig this out for me for when i wanted to uh, avoid doing work and reports.”

“You? The dutiful second in command? Avoid work?” Adora couldn't help but laugh through each word.

“Yeah yeah chuckle it up buttercup, its gonna save your ass this time. Just stick to the left and you’ll pop out somewhere there's probably no guards and-” Catra caught her arm when she made to go through, “ be….careful…. Only i get to kick your ass alright? And what's the point of kicking down the rebels if i don't get to rub it in your face out of spite.” Adora couldn't help but smile back.

This could all still go so so wrong, if Catra thinks on her words today and still decides sticking with the horde is worth it, that what she did was unforgivable, or to even kill her one day. So much pain and tears still could come from this conflict between them, and yet here and now it almost felt like old times. Only with Adora being the one running the risk of punishment and Catra being the one to protect her with her favor. Still she chose to believe there was good under that selfish veneer and all the hurt Adora caused her. 

She pulled out the arrow Bow had given her and unsheathed her sword, the weight on her shoulders feeling less heavy now.

“Don't worry i have a plan….and you take care of yourself too. And Entrapta….i couldn't protect her, so you better or I'll come kick your ass got it?”

“Not gonna try to steal her away?”

“Nah i've learned, trying to force strong willed pretty girls to join the rebellion just doesn't work does it?” she turned and started to race down the corridor but not before seeing the faintest blush appear on her friend followed by a low mutter of ‘p-pretty?’

Adora made sure to keep to the left as she rushed down the twisting tunnels. She had had barely any time to think up a game plan before the exit was upon her. She gave a hard shove to the closed end, but it didn't budge. Panic gripped her for a moment, was this all just an elaborate trick to catch her? To make her feel like she had actually gotten somewhere with Catra? It wasn't until her eyes fully adjusted to the dark she saw the words ‘pull, dummy’ scratched into the metal of the cover. Oh right of course, Catra had better night vision and would see that right away.

Stepping out, Adora saw no guards in the immediate area. Looking closer she seemed to be in a scrap yard of some sort. It made sense, knowing Entrapta was the one who dug it. And Catra always did like places to climb up high. Clicking the button, Adora flung the arrow as high as she could. She hoped whatever Bow had packed into the arrow worked, and that her friends showed up quick. She wasn't sure how long she could hide after exiting this area. As those thoughts crossed her mind, a brilliant flash of purple and glitter went off followed by a thunderous booming noise. 

Well.

No hiding here and waiting it would seem. Thankfully Bow wasn't lying about that speed dial, as Adora already saw a giant vine rising in the distance. She swore she could hear the faint laughter of the pacifist princess Perfuma about to have honestly too much fun punching people with plants.

A grin crept onto her face as she swept her sword in a arc past her feet and into the air, magic stirring and bleeding her hair back to blonde.

“For the honor of Grayskull! Lets kick some butt!” she cried out, jumping into the fray her friends had started.

They may be on different sides still, but Adora could see the walls around Catra’s heart starting to crack. She befriended her once and she as sure as hell could do it again. Only time would tell if this solo mission was a success or not. She could wait though.

For Catra, she’d wait until the end and more.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Months pass since their last talk and Adora has taken upon herself another solo mission. She finds herself following rumors to a lightly guarded Horde warehouse. Is it the break the rebels need or just another trap?

Adora crouched lower into the bush she was using for cover, glaring at the Horde warehouse ahead of her. It seemed like a standard storage facility used by the Horde, a rusted red look to the exterior and two stories tall with multiple areas for guard watch points. Alas that was the problem here. She had been here for two full days and there had been seemingly no relief of guard. Just the same four, three human appearing in shape at least and the other having lizard features, on a rotating shift. She spent the whole first day worrying over this was her old troop or not before even acknowledging what was going on. It made no sense. Rumors had reached the rebel line that this area was housing new experimental weapon tech. The Horde didn’t do sloppy, and this was sloppy.

Obviously it had to be a trap. And the obviousness of it being a trap felt like another trap. It was that thinking that had kept Adora back observing for two days, trying to glean _anything_ useful about this place. Was it worth springing the trap for whatever knowledge could be gained? She didn't know, she just knew she was beginning to feel restless set in and she needed to take action, even if that action was to walk away.

As she was packing the few things she had brought with her, the ‘borrowed’ skiff still hidden among the trees, a snippet of conversation caught Adora’s attention. Sometimes the two guards on daytime duty would get close to her encampment. They never seemed to spot her (was that another layer to the trap?) but it was close enough that if they talked loud enough Adora could pick up on what they were discussing for the day. Usually it was something dull like arguing about chores or what to do for entertainment after their shift concluded. But tonight's topic was completely different. She took her spot in the bushes back up, straining to listen.

“Did you hear the relief orders coming in this morning? By Commander Catra no less. Finally we can get back to civilization!” the lizard one said. “Er, well what passes for civilization with the Horde at least, hah. Just gotta hold out til tonight.”

His patrol buddy groaned, shoulders slumped. “Listen, like no disrespect but-”

“Oh sweet honey bees here we go again,” the lizard said, palming their face.

“Hey listen bro, I’m just not a fan of how she’s shifted how we do things! I used to be able to go i and shoot everything with no worry about damages! Now it's all about avoiding needless destruction and not murdering every rebel we see! She’s as soft as a mewling kitten.”

“It’s called integrating, idiot,” They shoved their partner, tail swishing irritably. “A way for the Horde to build up the workforce and taking the resources for our own. You can't burn everything down and expect to still be able to feed people. It's the smarter way to go about things.” the other guard pouted as they finished.

“Okay and the rebels we keep taking alive? Huh? Aren’t they just a waste of our resources then?”

“Information, and bargaining chips. I'm starting to _seriously_ think you slept through all your classes that weren’t combat training, man.” Adora was able to catch the brief beginning of a rebuttal to what the lizard one had said before they both were out of earshot.

_Catra._

Catra was going to be _**here.**_

Adora was keenly aware of two things now. One, that there was in fact something to be gained here. And two, it was absolutely a trap, just for her. Probably planned by Catra herself, if she was being honest.

It had been months since the two of them had chatted in Catra’s quarters. The memory was still vivid, different scenarios that could have been playing out in her dreams. Dreams of Catra finally leaving the Horde, of joining and fighting with Adora. Another of them both running away, leaving the fight altogether. One from after the war, them both beaten and bloodied, finally making up, confessions and feelings spoken softly between them, for only them before they lean into each other and-

Adora could feel her whole body tense up at the thoughts racing through her mind. Those were just wishful flitting dreams. Ones she still hoped to make true in the future, someway,but that’s not reality as it is, and if she wants to not lose Catra, she has to face that. Cause as it is Catra is still the second in command with the Horde, that she is still leading troops against the rebels even if her methods are ‘softer’ than commanders in the past, still stubborn in all their clashes. And Adora is still trying to live up to the legend She-ra, still looking for herself, still with the rebels trying to do good.

She closed her eyes, trying to force some of the tension out of her body. She needed a plan, one that hopefully didn’t put her on a collision course with her old friend. Adora wasn't sure how another conversation would go between them despite Catra implying there would be more, even an answer. It was heartbreaking to watch the person she cared for most keep perpetuating this cycle of hurt and terrifying to not have an answer for if her hopes were futile. But she couldn’t let that fear stop her. Adora had said she was going to destroy the Horde and would do anything to do it. The warehouse in front of her could very well hold a role in her finally being able to bring the Horde down. 

So she prepared herself, waiting until night fell. It wasn’t too far off but Adora still grew anxious about what could happen. She had no back up this time, not letting anyone in the rebellion catch on somehow despite her less than great deception. She had stated she wanted to go on a solo training retreat and clear her head. No one questioned her for once, quite possibly since the last mission she had been on was a loss. A minor one, but they could all see how tense it had made her. Heck it was even the reason she was here. She wanted to prove to others and herself that she could live up to the status of She-ra. It was proving to be an enormous task. Bow, Glimmer and the others were always there to help but none of them quite understood why she felt this way. Catra would, but she’s not here with her.

Adora glanced up at the sky, seeing it start to streak purple and black. Scratch that. Catra _would_ be here, and soon if Adora didn’t stop wallowing and get her butt into action. Picking up her sword beside her, Adora took a steadying breath and called out the words to become She-ra. Her wandering mind had kept her from formulating any kind of real plan but the ‘turn into an 8ft tall lady and wing it’ plan still had like a 75% success rate. And still, even with it definitely being a trap, there were only four guards. It wasn’t gonna be that hard…. Probably. She did know she wanted to wait until all four of them had gathered for their last shift change. If it went well, she’d be in an out just like that. That also ran a bigger risk of running into Catra, but maybe despite all the fears welling up inside her, she just wanted to see her again. To talk, though again, that probably wasn’t the best idea.

She didn’t have to wait as long as she thought, all the guards gathered at the front guard post within a few minutes of the sky fully turning to night. Adora crouched down low, feeling the muscles in her legs coil with tension ready to leap. With a sharp inhale, she changed the sword into shield mode and lept right at the four guards, the distance covered easily while being She-ra. Landing on the bulky lizard, she snapped a fist out and clocked another guard before they could react. Realizing they were under attack the other two backed up, one pulling out an electrified staff and the other a blaster. Adora bobbed and weaved around the staff swung at her and used the shield to block any shots coming her way from the one hanging back. She feinted, letting the guard get the staff close to her body before bringing her shield down on it. Adora was sure she heard a faint ‘ah come _**on**_ ’ after the soldiers only weapon was snapped in two by the face of the rebellion army. It made her smirk just a little bit, as she picked the person up in front of her and chucked them at the now retreating last guard.

Hey that did go well, surprisingly. Now all she had to do was restrain them somehow. She spotted a nearby pulley system for lifting cargo up to the second floor. Transforming the shield back into a sword, she used it to cut the system down and tied it around the unconscious troops, forcing them into one lumpy bundle. The next problem to tackle was just where to put them. 

Hefting the group up to her shoulder, Adora peered inside, looking for somewhere out of the way to hide them. The sleeping quarters were typically in the back but there should be a recreation room near here. Despite not having been in one of these for a while now, her feet guided her right to the room. Pre-fab buildings while being a quick setup, all did have the similar weakness of seeing one is like seeing them all. She placed the group down gently before grabbing a chair from the table to prop against the door. She really didn’t need them interrupting her, time was of the essence. Adora’s mood picked up. She just needed to find something like a shipping manifest or record of tests done here and she would be good to go. With hardly any blood spilt or hurt feelings. That was nice for a change. 

The good mood soured quickly as she checked each guard station. There was nothing. No documents, no recordings of any kind seemed to still be here. Adora ran a hand through her hair in frustration, breath coming through gritted teeth. There had to be _something_ , _**anything**_. Who knew when Catra would show up and stop her. She wasn’t going away empty handed. She was just gonna have to search the crates by hand. Using the pommel of the sword and sheer strength the locks on each piece of cargo stood no chance. Many had ammo or weapons in them and some were already empty but nothing was jumping out at her screaming ‘top secret weapons here’. The only reason she kept searching was due to the scorch marks she found in the large swath of area left open. She could still feel a tingle in the air and smell the smoke from whatever did this. Some kind of weapon testing happened here and Adora was going to figure out just what it was.

Looking around some more, Adora was able to spot a console on the back wall, past the open area. Nerves caused her to stick to the outside of the scorched area. Nothing about it seemed good and she didn’t feel like testing her luck anymore than she had today. 

The machine booted up with little problem and Adora was able to finally find some files as to what was being done there. Apparently the Horde, or probably more accurately Entrapta, had been working on a droid that was less mobility and more defense. With one hell of a punch too if she was reading these files right. One test claimed that the canon could theoretically vaporize almost a mile of land. Literally a weapon of mass destruction.

It made her blood run cold, the possibility of such a weapon existing let alone in the clutches of the Horde. She was frantic now, looking for any information on the droid itself she could take back and warn the rebellion. As she scanned each screen she finally found one with the option to inspect. Hoping it would pop up blueprints of some kind, she pushed the button. Anything that could help them fight, plan, or find the weakness of such a weapon. 

A tremendous rumble shook the whole building. Her sword ready in a flash, Adora whips back around and watches as the empty scorched ground opens up. A droid unlike any other emerged before her. It was jet black and sporting six legs instead of four and featured angled plates. They still gave it an almost round ball appearance but the way each plate seemed to undulate was unnerving. And yet this terrifying weapon of destruction suddenly appearing wasn’t what made Adora gasp, wasnt what twisted her heart until it tore. Because on top of the droid was an extremely familiar body, lounging on her side and propping her head up on her hand.

“Jeez Entrapa was right, I _should’ve_ just put a big red button there and labeled it ‘push me’. What took you so long _She-ra?_ ”

Catra. She was here, had _**been**_ here the whole time for who knows how long. All the fears she had had about being alone with Catra again rose to the surface. She was scared, she was exhilarated. She wanted to hug her old friend and cry. She wanted to beat her to a pulp. Most of all she wanted an answer. She needed an answer. To what all this was but more importantly to the conversation they had all those months ago. This limbo space of not quite enemies and not quite friends was tearing her apart. She was fraying at the edges and wasn’t sure just how much longer she could hold on.

Adora’s mouth felt glued shut. She tried swallowing, but her voice still came out raspy. “I can't say I'm surprised to see that kind of dramatic entrance from you. But what the hell is that thing you're sitting on Catra?”

“Ah this old thing?” a gleeful smile slipped onto Catra’s face. She slid down one of the plates before hopping off, gracefully landing on her feet. “No need to worry about this bad boy, the project was scrapped.”

Catra paced over closer to Adora, pulling open one of the cabinets below the console and began rummaging. Being near Catra while in She-ra mode was always a conflict. the deep seeded instinct telling her to strike first crashing up against her own thoughts and will. It could be a struggle to keep in check at times especially when Catra was so distractingly close and they weren’t currently fighting. Adora still doesn’t quite know how she kept her concentration long enough to repair the Sea Gate for Mermista. Cause when the feelings of wanting to punch Catra weren’t there she was fighting other thoughts and feelings. Like the thought of how much taller and stronger she was as She-ra. Of how it would feel to be the one doing the wall pinning for once if Catra ever let herself get caught. The feeling of being close again. The feel of Catra’s li-

Adora scrubbed at her face. It was these thoughts that were tearing her apart the most. She would never be able to process and move on from these feelings until they settled on just what they were to each other. She kept her eyes screwed shut as she listened to Catra dig around some more. After a few moments she heard a small ‘aha!’ as Catra emerged with a remote.

“Will I get a real answer if I ask _why_ it was scrapped? Cause it sure doesn’t look scrapped to me,” Adora said.

“It's super impressive looking right? Unfortunately the model has a habit of collapsing under its own weight when trying to go over any slope of 30 degrees,” a playful gleam entered Catra’s eye, as she hopped behind some nearby crates and called out while pushing the one button on the remote, “Oh yeah and it does this!”

The monstrosity of a machine hunkered down, the top plates splitting open and rotating to angle back in a row, exposing the canon channel inside. Electricity started to spark and jump between each plates conduit, building a charge. Adora was rooted in her spot, right in front of the barrel. She barely lifted the shield, crouching behind it, before the shot went off with a flash and boom. Followed shortly by a thud and the smell of smoke. Adora peeked over her shield, seeing the machine had caught fire and collapsed fully, dark smoke rising from in between the plates.

Catra leaned over the crate she had just used for cover, head once again propped in her hands. “It can do a lot of damage but our researchers could never get it to do well….not that.” She moved closer to Adora, enough to whisper in her ear, “But it will, someday.”

So this was her answer. She felt something in her chest snap. Tears streaked down her face as she roared, changing the shield once more into a sword. Her swing goes wide, right over top Catra, who takes the chance to swipe at her side. She lets her She-ra instincts take control in her haze of hurt and rage, swing after swing precise but still missing the elusive feline. It’s another game of cat and mouse, Catra dodging nimbly over crates and parts of the fallen machine as Adora charges head on. Catra never got caught unless she wanted to when they were fighting one on one, but Adora couldn’t care. She was too hurt and _angry_. Angry at Catra for doing this, angry at herself for building up her own hopes that Catra would choose her. Despite knowing it could go like this, that it likely was going to end up like this, it still felt like a betrayal. Like Catra was denying her own goodness and redemption just to get revenge on her. On some misguided thought the Horde was better for her. Or maybe rather the thought that hurt most of all, that Adora could never again be good enough for her. To be the one Catra stuck with through anything.

Adora was running out of steam,sweat pouring down her face, while Catra still wore that smug look on her face, tail flicking back and forth. Crates and their contents were strewn haphazardly across the floor having been used as both cover and projectile. Chunks of the machine had gone flying as Adora chased her target around it, cutting down everything in her path.

“Is that really everything the mighty She-ra has got? I haven’t even broke a sweat, hah!” her body was relaxed but her ears and eyes were trained on Adora. Looking for any sign of this continuing.

Her instincts snapped back into action at the taunt, hurling the sword right at her opponent. Catra easily side stepped it, watching as it embedded itself in the ground. She was turning back around, probably for another quip, when Adora flung one of the huge severed droid legs at her. This time Catra had to scramble to get out of the way, falling completely prone as it passed over her. In the gap of time it took for the leg to fly over Catra and before she could get up and run, Adora launched herself at her fallen foe. They tumbled over one another, again and again, from the full force of She-ra’s power. They were both covered in soot by the time they came to a stop, Adora in full She-ra glory straddling Catra. One hand pinned her down by the collar and the other came up into a fist ready to strike. She could see Catra’s ears flatten against her head, a look of terror on her face as she watched the fist come falling down on her.

_**“NO!”**_

Adora felt concrete give under her fist, leaving a crater inches from her friend’s face. The power of She-ra left her body, replaced by an icy spike of adrenaline at what she almost did. She could never actually permanently hurt Catra, not on purpose, let alone kill her like the foreign instincts inside her were pushing her towards. As much as they drove her to protect, they at times equally drove her to hunt down and eliminate a threat no matter what. And the more out of control her emotions the more out of control She-ra was.

Adora fell forwards onto her arms, framing Catra’s head. Tears were freely streaming down her face at this point, her urge to hide them nowhere close to being a priority at the moment. Silent sobs wracked her whole body. She felt two familiar hands land on her waist and a tail wrap around her one bicep. She looked down at Catra’s face, it was a mess of emotions, Adora’s tears falling down and mixing with the feline’s own and cutting streaks through the soot.

“I-I can’t do this! I can’t hurt you Catra, even with the choices we’ve made, with the whole world pitting us against each other I can't! I won’t, ever again, I lo-” Adora feels a crack and a sharp pain as blood from her nose now mingles with her tears, cutting her years overdue confession short. She feels Catra push and wiggle out from underneath her. Adora is left on her knees looking up at an extremely angry Catra. There was still a remnant of the previous emotions, the fear and concern, but her whole body was now radiating loathful tension.

“NO! You don't get to say that! Not now, not after everything you put us through! You're the one who left, who put us in this situation, you even admitted it yourself!” Catra shouted. Her tail was flicking back and forth even more, ears still flat.

Yet she was still here. Not running off to alert others, not trying to capture her and definitely not trying to kill her. Something about the whole situation clicked in Adora’s head. Maybe everything wasn’t how it appeared. She couldn’t really see how else all this could be taken as, but Adora wasn’t known for her observations off the battlefield. It’s how it took so long for her to come to term with her feelings, how she ended up ignoring all the things happening to Catra, how she didn’t see this fallout coming and cut it off. Her gut told her something else was going on here, to trust Catra. And trusting Catra was never hard to do. She just needed to test her theory out.

“That’s right….but y’know-”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, really? More of your speeches? They aren’t going to work, we’re enemies Adora,” Catra finished the interruption with a sneer, her whole body on the defensive. 

“ _But y’know_ ….” Adora started again, here’s hoping her gut is right. “You still haven’t killed me. I mean you’ve lured me out here alone and have had so many opportunities, why haven’t you?”

“Don't think about it too hard there, you’ll hurt your head. Besides it wouldn’t prove anything and toying with you is fun,” Catra replied. She was somehow looking more nervous and relaxed at the same time.

“I think you still care, that you have something else going on, that you're just burying how good you are deep down.” Adora was standing now, slightly bent still catching her breath.

“Screw you and your goody two shoes talk. We’re not friends Adora! I'm apart of the ‘evil Horde’ remember? I can never _be good!_ ” Catra’s voice cracks on the last words. And as much as it hurts to hear, it’s looking more and more like her gut was right.

“I left the Horde and I like to think I’m doing good now,” Adora stepped closer to her retreating friend, pulling the sword out of the concrete as she went, “And I _**know**_ you can be good Catra cause you already are. No matter how much poison the Horde’s claws have sunk in you, I know it's true.” Adora caught up as Catra’s back landed against a part of the forgotten droid. Time for one last gamble. She placed the sword between Catra’s hands before forcing the feline’s arm up to hold the blade right under Adora’s own chin. The look on Catra’s face went from puzzled and nervous to out right terrified.

“But if it somehow isn't true, that you're irredeemable, th-that you believe this can’t end with us both happy and alive and at peace then you may as well cut me down here cause i don't want to live in that world.” Adora’s hands fall to her sides, her voice barely above a whisper. 

“I’m just so _**tired**_ Catra. Tired of trying to live up to some legend, of the fighting and dying all around me, tired of not knowing if I'm pushing you even further away and losing you. The only thing keeping me going is the hope that I’m not doing that. The hope that one day the world can be free from the shadow of the Horde, that neither of us will have to live in fear of them anymore. The hope that maybe one day we can be friends again or even….” Adora trailed off.

She still had more to say but paused to take a moment and watch Catra. She was shaking, sword still pressed where Adora had left it. The glare Catra leveled at her wasn’t doing much to hide the cracks in her armor, more vulnerable feelings bubbling up to the surface. Hopefully that was a good sign, that she was getting through to her.

“But if I am right, that there’s something going on here, that those hopes aren’t unfounded, then you know I will fight tooth and nail with every breath I have to tear the Horde down , _piece_ by _**piece**_ until those hopes are a reality. Until you're free and happy, no matter the price... cause Catra I lo-” a clawed hand reaches up to Adora’s head and yanks her forward, sword still pressed dangerously between them, into a crushing kiss. It’s too much teeth and heat and all the hurt feelings between them boiled to a single point of contact. It's definitely not how she imagined her first kiss going but with Catra it feels right, it feels perfect. And really, she doesn't think it could’ve turned out any other way between them. 

As her head clears from all the pent up emotions finally being released, a vague sense of irritableness pricks at the back of her head from constantly getting interrupted before being able to confess. That Catra got to beat her to this. The feeling soon subsides as the kiss turns more gentle. No less heat or emotion, she can taste tears and ash as well as Catra, but neither of them are about to chip a tooth like at first. Adora relaxes the slightest bit, placing her hands on Catra’s hips. As soon as she does though, she feels a knee connect with her stomach and gets pushed back, falling to the ground. Catra stares down at her, lips red and breathing heavily. It looks good on her, even if the red tone is most likely from Adora’s blood. She watches Catra toss the sword to the floor beside her, pained eyes never leaving her.

“You're right, I can't do it. This whole thing was a charade! I wanted to make you feel the betrayal I felt, to hurt you like you hurt me to see what you would do when faced with something like that from someone you-someone you…”

“Catra...” Adora feebly reached out a hand, wanting to comfort her friend.

“Stop, just let me finish dammit…” Catra furiously rubbed at her face, trying to rid it of soot and tears alike and give herself a moment to think. “ And you know what? Our choices are the same! You can't kill me like I can't kill you. No matter how I try to tell myself that you hurt me, that you can't be trusted, that _you don't care about me_ , I can't stop- I can't stop loving you, can't stop being in love with you, you big hearted idiot. But we won't meet again like this, can't meet like this again Adora, or we both lose. Hordak has eyes everywhere. Doing this was hard enough.”

Adora jumped to her feet, happiness buzzing through her whole being. Catra loved her. Catra was in love with her. Sure a bunch of those other words Catra had said didn’t bode super well but they didn’t matter to Adora. Catra mattered to her. She pulled her into the biggest hug she could muster, tucking Catra’s head under her chin. Tension bled out of both their bodies, reveling in the closeness they both sorely missed. Adora felt a rumble against her chest and couldn’t help the small pleased smile that played across her face as a tail wrapped around her waist.

“Are you upset with this whole situation I set up? I mean I don’t regret it, fair’s fair and all that, but uh it’d be nice to know?” Adora couldn't help but let out a chuckle at the question. Her emotions had been on one hell of a roller coaster today. She let the question hang for a moment, to gather her thoughts but mostly to make Catra squirm.

“A little bit but that feelings passed. We’ve both done worst like, _actual_ betrayal y’know,” She finally answered. Despite the bleak sentiment they both laughed, Catra tucking herself more in to the embrace. A tense silence formed in the air as the laughter died down, something that even the comforting presence of each other couldn’t cut. Someone had to break it though neither wanted the job.

“So where does that leave us?” Adora finally spoke up. A heavy sigh left Catra, her shoulders sagging, the tension cut but a new unease replacing it.

“Just because two people love each other, doesn't mean it's good for them to be together Adora. First off i'm still not joining that lil rebellion of yours so we’re still on opposing sides- don't give me that pout and just listen.” She tweaked Adora’s nose playfully before continuing, “Secondly, I- we both still have a lot of growing to do, a lot of bad feelings to still deal with. And as history has shown us, that can't happen when I'm in your shadow.”

“I never thought you were-!”

“Yeah I know dummy” Catra cupped her face, “But unbelievable as it may seem this isn't about _your_ thoughts and feelings. It's about my own self worth, about how others view me. So until I can walk beside you as an equal, this whole whatever it is won’t work out.”

“Okay that's… fair, like super fair. Can i ask though….how do you plan to do that exactly?” Adora could feel Catra’s whole body vibrate from trying to hide her laughter in Adora’s shoulder. A few moments passed before she pulled away, still holding Adora’s arms but with some breathing room between them now.

“Hah easy! I'm still gonna show everyone I'm as good as, or as we know, better than you. And what better way to do that then taking down the Horde myself.” Catra grinned, pleased with her own answer.

“From the inside….” Adora whispered, more to herself, to try and process what was just said.

“Exactly.” Catra answered, leaving Adora even more dumbfounded.

“That’s... beyond dumb, I can't believe I've fallen for such a crazy person."

“Damn right!” Catra had fully left their embrace now, hip cocked, hands behind her head and sporting the most confident smirk. It looked way to good on her. Adora turned her head briefly, trying to clear her brain of her current thoughts and the stupid blush on her cheeks.

“And if I just theoretically beat the Horde before you do?” Adora asked.

“That’s definitely not gonna happen…. but if it were, like you said, _theoretically_ to happen then uh…. I guess we would just need to have a good old fashion brawl between us.” Catra punctuated the sentiment by pounding a fist into her open hand.

“ Either way without the Horde around it’ll be easier to breathe, I won’t have to look over my shoulder constantly, just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And besides who do you think got Entrapta to sabotage the plans for these droids?” Catra’s smirk only grew as she held out one of her hands to Adora. She smiled back and shook her head. Her emotions were in conflict, happy to see even Catra wouldn’t put up with this, that she was doing something about it and terrified at what could happen if she got caught.

Scooping the sword off the floor, Adora moved forward taking Catra’s hand and letting herself be led towards the exit. They stopped a few feet out of sight of the recreation room, where a distant thumping could be heard. Catra let out a growl and turned to face her partner, hands held gently between her own.

“Okay looks like we’ve wasted enough time, time to go She-ra. Before they bust out and you have to beat them all again.”

Adora held on as Catra made to let go. A small panic gripped at her heart, their parting feeling too soon. it always felt too soon.

“Will we see each other again?” She asked.

“Duh of course, we always seem to find one another again.” Catra tilted her head, a quizzical look on her face.

“And off the battlefield?” She kept pressing on.

“Adora we can’t-”

“I know I know! I just mean…..after this is all done, and the dust settles, will I see you again? I just…. I just need a yes or no here okay?” Adora kept her face down, staring at their intertwined hands. She watched and felt as Catra tightened her grip before she spoke up.

“And if I lie?” came the reply.

“I’ll always trust you Catra. I know that hasn’t been the case recently but it is now. Even if it leads to my downfall.” She finally glanced back up, giving Catra a shy smile. She watches a blush cover all of her friend’s (lover’s?) face, as the distant thumping gets louder.

“Seems like you’re always falling for me huh Adora?” Catra says, trying to deflect the intense feelings being leveled at her. Adora just holds her gaze, waiting for an answer. 

“Yeah...we will okay? Promise.” the words come out hoarse, Catra holding back new tears. Adora lets their hands go, wrapping a pinky around one of Catra’s and shaking it.

“Promise,” She echoes back. A new promise for a new bond. One she intended to not let break.

A loud crack rings out, them both whipping around to see the door of the recreation room starting to bulge out. Voices that were muffled before now growing louder.

“C’mon put your back in to it!” A deeper voice called out.

“YOU’RE THE BEEFY LIZARD YOU SHOULD BE DOING THIS!” a second shriller voice shouted.

“You know my scales get sensitive during shedding season!”

“People less arguing with your S.O. more knocking down the door,” came a third annoyed voice.

Adora called out in a whisper, transforming into She-ra as Catra turned back around. Yet she still didn’t move to leave, knowing full well this would be the last time in a long time she would get to see Catra outside of the battlefield. Soon enough Catra rolled her eyes, hopping up to grab her by the collar and yank her down for a soft kiss on the cheek.

“Definitely time to go princess. Stay alive out there,” Catra’s words rang out with a note of finality.

Adora left out the front with a nod and one final look back as Catra moved to finally open the door. She heard a screech as presumably all the guards came tumbling out after each other from Catra pulling the door open. She caught a bit of the conversation as she rushed back to the spot she had camped out in. She tried to pick out who was who before being out of range to hear.

“Commander you’re alright!” that was the lizard person.

“Did you catch She-ra?” and that would be the whiny guy who was always partnered with them.

“Do I look like I have a eight foot tall lady tied up beside me?” definitely Catra.

“We’re sorry…” all of them spoke.

“Yeah yeah, whatever. You all can start apologizing by tidying up as I radio in for a cleaner crew. Ain’t none of us going back to base tonight.”

Happiness swelled in Adora’s heart as Catra’s voice washed over her and faded out. They really were on the same page now. Maybe not the same side, but she could work with this. She felt invincible as she packed up the skiff she came here on and headed back to Bright Moon. The goal of stopping this seemingly never ending war hadn’t really felt possible until now. Even with so much more was riding on the line of winning this war Adora wasn’t afraid. With everything her and Catra had just talked about how could she. They were going to stop this war then find each other and work things out.

It was a promise.


End file.
